he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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