Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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