I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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