I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
