Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
