ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
only if we run a train.
done.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
me + whiskey = a bad person
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
