cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
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