Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Randomize
