So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
