You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
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