After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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