if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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