Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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