Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
