i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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