lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
