I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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