I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
