i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
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