i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
