i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize