It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
