I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
