So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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