her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
