Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
