May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.