It was confusing and full of hummus
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.