you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.