Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
