do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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