It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
