I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
