is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
