hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
