Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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