her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
