The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
