yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize