I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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