My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
