I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
