i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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