i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I'm having to shit out rocks
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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