I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
