If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
