My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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