and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
