I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
