He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize