Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
