Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
