I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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