so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
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