I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize