I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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