I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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