I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
