Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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