Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize