i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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