Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
