"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
