okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
