At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Fuck appropriateness.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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